WASHINGTON—Flirtatiously winking and calling the assembled reporters a bunch of “silly gooses,” the U.S. government coyly denied in a press conference Tuesday that it was involved with anything naughty. “Who, us? We would never, ever! The American government is way too sweet and innocent to go around playing dirty tricks like that,” said a blushing Secretary of State Antony Blinken, speaking in a baby voice and pursing his lips as he stood alongside Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, National Intelligence Director Avril Haines, and other Cabinet-level officials, all of whom reportedly giggled and blushed like schoolgirls. “Why, we wouldn’t know the first thing about how to negotiate a $3 billion arms deal with the Saudis, allowing them to continue killing hundreds of thousands of Yemenis in what may be the worst humanitarian catastrophe of our lifetimes! We’re bad? No, you’re bad. And big and strong, too, aren’t you? Yes, yes, you are!” At press time, Blinken could not be reached for comment after he started to cry, left the stage, and told reporters that any chance they thought they had with the U.S. government was officially over.
By NYESIGA NABOTH
According to those who have had the pleasure of working with Naboth, they have noted that he has a strong understanding of ICT and its potential to improve efficiency and productivity in various industries. He is a natural problem solver and is able to think critically when it comes to leveraging technology to achieve business goals. His ability to stay current with the latest developments in ICT, combined with his ability to communicate effectively with both technical and non-technical colleagues, makes him a valuable asset to any team. His passion for ICT and his drive to continuously improve his skills make him a leader in his field.